“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrew 12:11
I have a confession to make I struggle with discipline. I often talk about setting goals and that I am going to do them, but then I don’t act on it. For example, I’m currently working with a Nutritionist. Because I struggle with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), she suggested that I eat foods that are high in omega 3 to help balance my mood, energy, sugar levels, and to help me lose the weight I gained while I was on my birth control and antidepressant. Even though we have a plan in place, which also includes exercising, I’m still not following it. I tend to overeat when someone comes over, when I’m bored or when I feel down. This hasn’t helped me with my weight loss goals at all. In fact, I just keep gaining weight which impacts my self-esteem.
On that note I am struggling with writing my second book. It’s about living with PMDD. How each month I go through mood swings, anger, deep depression, more weight gain from overeating, sleepless nights, and other physical symptoms. When I tell people that I’m writing about PMDD, which is a lifelong condition that will impact me until I hit menopause ask, “What in the world is PMDD I want to answer that question in my book and paint a clear picture of what it’s like to live with this condition and how hard it has been for me to navigate finding a treatment that works. The reason why I struggle with writing isn’t just about dealing with this severe chronic condition but writing about it can be draining. I wish I had discipline like my husband, Matt, he can get up early and work on his book for hours. Soon enough he’s going to have another great book in his hands.
As I think back to my life I know where my lack of discipline came from. I know that back when I was in high school, I had a good amount of self-esteem. I felt like I was going to have a bright future. But after my assault, my self-esteem tanked. Being assaulted changes you. I felt like I lost part of myself during those summers that I was on the farm.
In college, I had discipline. But college was a coping mechanism I buried myself in a routine and I thrived on it. I finally got a degree, but little did I know that I would become stuck.
After college, I didn’t have much of a routine or discipline. Many people wanted me to take any job I could take, but Vocational Rehab wanted me to either get a job in journalism or run my own business. I spent years looking for work and nothing came up.
Now I’m focusing on trying to get my discipline and self-esteem back. I’ve been focusing on the things I can do rather than what I can’t do. I know that getting my discipline back will take hard work, and with some areas, like working out, I might be sore. I know that if I take the Bible’s advice it will be worth it in the long run.
Harris' InkWell 
That was a wonderful read
I’m glad you enjoyed it.
You are human. What you wrote describes most of us in one way or another. It describes me to a T. 😎
Discipline is my number one issue, but I think it’s a symptom of something else
Really interesting post. I have the same issue with discipline and motivation. I’m on an antidepressant right now, but what really made gain weight was the antipsychotic I’m on. They have been very helpful for me personally. I know I should come off them eventually, but I feel I still need them right now. I’m trying to find ways to deal with the weight gain outside of coming off the medication. I’ve been trying exercising and eating healthier, but that hasn’t been working out for me. Giving up certain food and exercising routinely have been extremely difficult. Old habits are just really hard to break, it’s hard starting new ones.
As for writing, sometimes I feel motivated and sometimes I just don’t. lol. I usually try not to push myself if I’m not in the mood. Readers can often tell how passionate you were about your writing, because it leaks into your writing. If you were bored while writing it leaks in. It is good to find inspiration to give a spark though, so I try to look for things that will inspire me. Once I feel inspired to write I can’t stop! I can keep going until I need more inspiration or until the oroject is done!
Thankyou for sharing this post! Keep inspiring! Hopefully we can both find an exercise routine that works for us. I also wish you continued success with your writing!
Hi Amanda!
I love this post! I love how honest you are! I’m currently on antidepressants, but what really made me gain weight is the antipsychotic. I’ve been on them for a while, and I know I need to come off them eventually. However, they have been so helpful, so I’m not ready to come off them yet. I’ve been working on ways to control my weight gain without having to come off my medication. Eating healthier and starting an exercise routine are what I considered, but sticking by those ideas have been much easier said than done. Old habits die hard, so giving up some of my favorite foods has been next to impossible. Picking up a new habit is also hard, which is why exercising hasn’t been going well.
As for writing, sometimes im in the zone and sometimes I’m not! lol. Sometimes when I’m not motivated I don’t push myself. Readers can tell if you’ve put your all into your writing. Sometimes I try to find ways to inspire myself if I’m not motivated though, and when I get in the zone, I can go on writing for hours like your husband!
Thankyou for sharing this post! Keep on writing and inspiring, and hopefully we can both find a way to manage our weight gain!