When Nystagmus Makes Me Sad

On Monday, a friend and I were talking about our experiences when it comes to our vision loss. We were talking about how some professionals, like eye doctors, have told me that I was saying that I have problems seeing print for attention. As many of you know, I have Nystagmus that make my eyes shake. This causes me to struggle to read printed material.

As I sat there thinking about my situation, I felt even worse. I am not legally blind; it is hard for me to receive help.

Furthermore, I thought about my place in the visually impaired community. Sometimes I feel torn because some community members say I do not belong because of the level of vision I have. I work hard representing the Nystagmus community by sharing my own experiences so others can learn from them.

I also had a fear of the future. I know for now that my vision is stable, which I am thankful for, however I have read of people going from stable vision to legally blind as they have gotten older. As I sat there, I reflected on the times that my teachers have said your not legally blind, however you are close.

Since I felt so down, I texted my friend to see if she could shed any light on the matter. I first brought up my fear of going legally blind and how for years many eye doctors have said that I “am not blind enough for services.” My friend pointed out my bible verse for the year: John 16:33, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” She pointed out that if I ever did go legally blind that I would be the one who would make my life happy or sad, and that it is all about perspective. She is right, for now my eyesight is stable and I should enjoy what I do have. Take each day and each eye exam as it comes, deal with the vision loss if it comes.

When it comes to getting services and hearing what the professionals have to say, be thankful for the little support I am getting. Right now, most everyone is having changes in their lives. Again, I am still doing what I love writing and doing YouTube. It does not matter what VR or DBS think.

Lastly, she said to keep sharing in the Visually Impaired community. I may never know whose life I touch by sharing my own story. That makes me feel amazing. Knowing that I may change a child’s life for the better. This is one reason I write my blogs.

After I talked about it with my friend, I felt a lot better. Remember, it is okay to feel sad about having Nystagmus, but it is important not to stay sad and defeated.

Published by Amanda Gene Harris, author and owner of Harris' InkWell

Hi, welcome to my website. My name is Amanda Gene Harris, and I am the owner of Harris' Inkwell. I am a disability and mental health freelancer. I would love to work with your company and I provide writing on a variety of topics on disability and mental health. Feel free to contact me via email at: Amanda@amandagene.com

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