About a month ago I got a call from the low-income clinic. “Hello, Amanda. I would like to inform you that your therapist will have to cancel your upcoming appointments until further notice. As we move forward with your care, I may just have to reschedule you with your current therapist or reassign you to someone else.” I was in shock. I really felt like my therapist and I were in a great therapeutic relationship. I felt like I was doing well and making progress towards reducing my anxiety and depression. “What happened?” I asked the receptionist. “I can’t get into it, but just know she is okay. We will call you when we find out more information.” I hung up the phone and started to panic. I went and told my grandpa what was going on. Then I called my best friend, who told me sometimes things happen and all you can do is press forward. My other best friend said the same thing. As I started to process all of this, I had feelings of uncertainty and abandonment. I went to YouTube and watched a few videos by Kati Morton. During that video I learned that writing down what I was feeling would be helpful. All I could do is to text a friend of mine to explain how I felt.
During the next two weeks I felt like my anxiety went into overdrive. I started having tight muscles, stomach aches, and trouble sleeping. My thoughts of having to meet with someone else made me uneasy. I did not want to have to reexplain my past, where I was in the present, and my hopes for the future. The next appointment came. I called the clinic hoping for an answer. All I was told was that my appointment was canceled, and I was supposed to call back next week when the clinic would have more answers.
The next day I could not take the pressure of my anxiety any longer. I picked up the phone and called the clinic back. I got news I did not want to hear: my therapist was gone, and I would have to start all over. I quickly explained that I was on the no co pay sliding scale fee, and if possible, I would like to see a female. I was set up quickly with an appointment and given a name.
I looked up my new therapist on a few websites to learn about her background. This helped me feel a little better knowing that her credentials met some of the problems that I have been struggling with.
I once again called my best friends and asked for advice. Their advice was to wait for the appointment, see how it goes and go from there.
The day of my appointment arrived and soon I was in the digital waiting room. My new therapist was full of energy, and she was easy to talk to. She started off by asking me a few basic questions about my support system, my past and what my previous therapist and I were working on.
I told her I had just had a big argument about a Facebook post, and I had to block a specific person. We also talked about sleep. I am having a lot of problems sleeping especially right before my period. She asked me to start tracking how I was feeling and maybe find out some meditation videos I could listen to before bed.
After that she scheduled me for three more sessions. All in all, I feel like this new therapist and I are going to work well together.